My two cents: Baby Veronica

Tuesday, September 03, 2013
Adoption is complicated. It's messy. It's heart-wrenching. It's also amazing. There is nothing simple nor easy about adoption. When I hear someone say "Just adopt," to a couple suffering from infertility or a loss, it drives me crazy. They have absolutely no idea what is involved. If things aren't handled properly, it's the child that suffers. And that's exactly what's going on in the Baby Veronica case.

As an adoptive mom, I can't imagine what the adoptive parents must have felt when the courts ruled in favor of the birth father, who had willingly terminated his rights. Based on the Indian Child Welfare Act, the courts ruled in favor of the birthfather and the child was returned to him. What's sad is the the little girl was just old enough (2, I think) to realize she was being taken from the only family she ever knew. I mean, Z is 8 months old and she can't stand to be out of my sight.

Fast forward a couple years. The adoptive parents continued to fight the ruling. This past summer the Supreme Court overruled the lower courts. Baby Veronica was to return to her adoptive parents. This is where things get messy.

Now that baby Veronica is older, does she truly even remember her adoptive parents? If she doesn't, then her birth family is now the only family she knows. Yes, children are resilient, but how many times should they have to go through such a traumatic change?

Recently, the adoption was finalized. The birthfather was later arrested for custodial interference because he refused to hand her over to the adoptive parents. However, I read today that the Oklahoma Supreme Court has granted an emergency stay allowing Baby Veronica to stay with her birthfather until after their upcoming court hearings. Geez...

Part of me hurts for the adoptive parents, but at this point is it really in the best interest of the child to go back to them? I don't know and I'm glad I don't have to decide. It's an absolutely no-win situation.

Have you been following? What are your thoughts?

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