Ups and Downs

Wednesday, October 10, 2012
What a day. I was so excited because I was told I could use sick bank days once Baby Girl was here. I still don't have much vacation and sick time built up from my last stint in the hospital. So this was great news!

A little later I received another email that said (paraphrased), "but this does not apply to adoption."

Wow. Talk about a slap in the face.


It's strictly for medical reasons.

So, if I gave birth, my doctor could specify whatever I wanted and then I could use those extra days and actually get paid. But since I'm adopting, it doesn't count.

Yes, I know it's not medical (for me), but it still feels like a punch to the gut, like we're just second class citizens (even though that's not the policy's intentions).

I've cried all afternoon. It's not so much the time off, but how horrible it made me feel, like I didn't count. Unfortunately, it's another hurdle to overcome, another realization that nothing is ever easy.

Yeah, yeah, I hear the violins too.


  1. One thing to look into is short term disability. You can use it for maternity and paternity leave, would assume it would apply to adoption as well. Granted you would not get full pay but you would at least get partial pay for your time off.

    I think that would be illegal to say you can't use sick days for an adoption, you can use them for whatever you wish. So I guess you'll be sick for the first little while your little one comes home.

    I'm so sorry you are facing yet another obstacle. I would be upset too. I would go to HR and talk to them about the sick days. To my untrained HR ears it sounds like discrimination which is absurd.

    Prayers for peace & comfort in the process to bringing your little one home.

  2. Thank you. Unfortunately, these are sick bank days, not my regular sick leave. In order to use them you must donate two of your days, and then if you run out of sick and vacation time, then you can petition the sick bank. The policy states medical reasons only. I'm just out of luck on that end. As for the short term disability, I recently signed up, but it doesn't cover adoption either. Bummer. :(

  3. Oh no! That's so sad and disappointing! I would be so sad too! We really lucked out that since I'm a teacher and our little guys born in the middle of May, that I didn't have to worry much about leave since it was right before school got out. I DO know they're required to give you 12 weeks off, just not required to pay you. :/ which totally stinks!! Especially since you we're planning on those days! I would have a total tear eat too. Here's a site showing that you're legally allowed 12 weeks without pay,so know they can't deny you that!

  4. Oops! That's supposed to say I would have a total teary day, not tear out. :/