Out of Tune

Tuesday, August 28, 2012
The violins are playing today. I hate days like this. Two BFN's and every little reminder of that haunts me at every turn. The mommy canstockphoto9476047cliques are in full force now that school is back in session. I don't mean that in a mean-spirited way. It's just that all the moms are excited about their kids starting school or playing some city league sport, etc. and I'm left there to listen, listen to the one thing that dangles there in front of me just out of my reach.

Then, there are the complainers.
Oh, I'm so tired. I never get to do anything. These kids are driving me crazy. I wish they'd just shut up. Be glad you don't have any. Wanna adopt mine?

Because those comments make me feel so much better, right? Wrong.

(See, I told you the violins are playing, albeit WAY out of tune.)

This weekend is a long one and it looks like Isaac may bring us a holiday filled with rain. I hate to say it, but I'm looking forward to a few rainy days away from all the hurtful daily reminders.



  1. Love you Kerri. I hope you feel better soon. Praying for you everyday.

  2. I can imagine that the feelings may even be magnified now, since you are not only waiting on adoption, but also trying to conceive. And it may not mean a whole lot coming from me, since I have finally been blessed with my son, but I get what you're saying..and even though I am now socially accepted into the mom groups, I still feel a bit different, and on the outside--especially when they complain about things their kids do--because like you--I have fought from the depths to be able to hold and raise a child of my own.

    p.s. Have I mentioned how cool it would be to live in the same town? Your pinterest boards and projects are right up my alley! We'd go broke doing DIY projects!

  3. belle from beauty for ashesAugust 29, 2012 at 6:22 AM

    (((((hugs))))) my prayers for your arms to be filled with a sweet little one that lives here on earth never cease.

  4. I don't have a blog but loved your article so much I sent it to all on my litlte list and put not one but two links to your blog and send you a BCC. I can actually remember all of this being older than dirt and am shocked that it is suddenly news at all. What kind of party would nominate a candidate with all this in his background? Did they think all those millions of vets would forget? Those of us with family and friends who were never accounted for are supposed to just get over it?? Remember Kerry had a hand in that and had the original documenations on live sightings of POW/MIA's SHREDDED but knowing his character, copies were kept but it was the thought that counted. We will NEVER forget what he did in the early nineties concernng POW/MIA's with McCain's collusion, it is seared--seared into the hearts and minds of those who had loved ones just written off like that. Anna