No words

Saturday, June 02, 2012
I recently imported my first blog, Journey to Josey. I started the blog as a way to communicate with friends and family while I was in the hospital an hour away with preeclampsia. I haven't revisited those posts in quite some time. Mainly because they evoke such strong feelings. I glanced at a few after I imported them. For those of you that have experienced something similar, you can probably feel the emotions yourself. Stepping back and looking with fresh eyes, I realized I didn't even come close to describing what I was feeling at the time. Truly, there aren't words to describe it. I think I was actually worried about how other people would feel and react to my words. I didn't want them to hurt like me or feel sorry for me. Crazy, right? 

My husband and I have traveled many, many miles over the past two years; the journey has definitely been hard, grueling work at times. I've said this before, but we somehow managed to become better people for it. Ashley, over at A Ruby Family, made a similar comment today. She said there are times in our lives that define us forever. I think there should have been an exclamation point after that statement, don't you? Those moments/events affect how we think, what we do, and even who we become. Only we can choose our path.  Only we can choose to take those lemons and make lemonade. If lemonade isn't working, then maybe a nice, lemon meringue pie instead. LOL What's that old saying? It's always darkest before the dawn. I'm hoping "dawn" is here to stay for awhile.

I bring this up as we get ready to possibly head down a road we didn't expect to take. Lots of crazy emotions have been reignited, and I have no idea how to describe it. Earlier this week, a fellow BLM posted a picture of herself and her rainbow baby being handed to her for the very first time. That picture is engraved in my mind forever. It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I cried before I could even read the caption. I knew exactly what was going through her mind the moment I saw her face. Powerful stuff. No words. Raw emotion. I felt it because I know her pain and I know what I would feel if I ever got the chance to be in her place. *Sigh*

Looks like I'm rambling. I just hope that whatever we decide in the next few weeks, it won't keep us from still making those lemon meringue pies. ;)

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