Emotional

Monday, April 02, 2012
The subconscious mind is a powerful thing. As two years approaches, it's as if my body automatically goes into hormonal overdrive. The grief seems to overwhelm me, even on the best day. It comes from nowhere, or so it seems. The smallest things cause my heart to ache during this time of the year, even though I work hard at keeping those feelings at bay.

Last night, the full onslaught of the upcoming week took over. Our neighborhood had an Easter Egg Hunt and Dinner for all the families and their children. We obviously already planned not to go, but as I listened to those sweet voices outside screaming with joy, there was nothing else for me to do but cry. I'll be OK. I always am. I just have to get through this week first. 

5 comments

  1. You know, the sound of toddlers still gets to me. I remember sitting in my yard, shortly after my loss and hearing the little girls that live behind us play in the yard - and I cried and cried. I pray for your next child to find his/her way to you soon. I think the other hard part for you, that many of us isn't have to deal with after our losses, is that future pregnancies could co promise your life. You've been given a tough deck of cards, and from a bystanders view, you've handled it with honesty and grace..and you're a great example of soldiering on. Much love to you.

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  2. Sheesh, iPad issues.."compromise" not co promise.

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  3. I thought that the second birthday was so much harder (and unexpectedly harder) than the first year. Thinking of you and Josie!

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  4. Sending prayers for you this week.

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  5. It is hard for me to read your posts without shedding a tear. This is so emotional and I wonder how it is that you manage to cope. I do not know how spiritual or religious you are but I do believe there is a higher presence looking out for you and your baby is happy where she is.

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