The Waiting Game

Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Since we officially began "waiting" this summer, it's been a difficult road. I honestly didn't think the waiting would be an issue for me, but wow, it is! One of my favorite adoption blogs that I've been following since the beginning is Adoptive Momma of Three. She recently wrote about waiting during the holidays and I thought I'd share with you her thoughts.

Waiting During the Holidays by Adoptive Momma of Three
This is a post I did last year about this time and I felt it was worth reposting. Making patience your virtue during the holidays is easier said than done but is a goal worth setting.  Happy holidays, please enjoy the season.

Waiting to adopt during the holidays can be especially difficult.  It seems during this time of year everything centers around families and children. Everywhere you turn you are reminded, you are waiting to become a parent.

Here are a few tips:

1. Take a trip just the two of you.  If you cannot handle all the baby talk and questions during the holidays get away from it.  If you can afford it take a trip even if it is somewhere close to home.
2.  Take care of each other.  Often it is just as hard for your partner as it is for you during the holidays.  Instead of letting the stress get to you and possibly causing arguments open the lines of communication and talk about it.  You are going through this journey together learn to lean on each other.
3.  Remind others you are waiting to adopt on your holiday a greeting card.  It never hurts to gently remind people you are waiting and if they know of a birth parent looking to place their child they should contact you.
4.  If you get the dreaded, "so when are you going to start your family?" or "any news on the adoption" be kind and simply say, "we are always hopeful and cannot wait to share our news when the time comes". 
5.  Keep a journal.  Write down your feelings, your future child will appreciate reading about your anticipation and desire for their arrival someday.
6.  Scope out your family events before you attend.  If you are going to be surrounded by pregnancy and you do not think you will be able to handle it...skip out if you can.  Perhaps you can explain to those closest to you who will hopefully understand.
7.  Get support, join an adoption support group. 
8.  If you are going shopping over the holidays, avoid the baby section.

Listed below are the sources I used to develop this list and some are from my own experience.  Check out the sources listed below for additional ideas and support.

Thanks Adoptive Momma of Three!


  1. That's really good advice. I'm sure it's easier to read than actually act upon, but it's always nice to be reminded that other people have been in your position...I really like the idea of how to answer the "are you going to have kids?" question.

    My heart is with you and your husband even though we've never met- the road you've been in is not an easy one, and My prayer is that your child finds you soon.

  2. That is all great advice.

    I can relate a little bit to the wait. Last year, at exactly this time was when we decided we were going to pursue adoption. I remember spending our entire Thanksgiving working on our portfolio so we could take it to the attorney's office. I remember even just starting, I had NO patience. NONE. I am such an instant gratification person that I just wanted it all to happen right then.

    I pray that your child will be home with you soon!

  3. Great advice, the waiting is so tough this time of year

  4. ICLW 108

    Waiting truly is difficult. People would ask me what I wanted for Christmas and I'd say bitterly, "A baby! Got one of those?!". Yet after almost 2 years, our time came and it was a sweet Christmas. I really do think going on a trip is totally worth it, preferably to a couples resort. No matter where you are though, there's gonna be kids, but at least you can sleep in and go for a spa and get drunk if you feel like it. It really also helped to stay busy - even taking a first aid course for children was useful. Make a list - renovate a room, volunteer in a seniors home, learn how to knit, lose weight, train for a marathon, something to keep your mind distracted. Above, be kind to yourself.

  5. Thanks for sharing that great advice! I am finding the wait difficult during this time as well. Wishing you the best on your journey, and looking forward to following your blog!

  6. Hang in there! Your child will be worth the wait!