Thursday, March 24, 2011
Over the past couple weeks I found myself browsing my old blog to see what I had written on that particular day a year ago. It's heart breaking for me to read, but at the same time I feel like I am reading something someone else has written. I also noticed I wasn't quite as forthcoming in those old posts. I kept a lot inside so as not to keep everyone upset.

So much has changed a year later. I honestly feel like a different person. I'm not sure I know who that person was sitting in that hospital room. Friends have died. Friends have disappeared. New friends have appeared. Old friends became new friends again. I swear it feels like we actually picked up and moved our entire former lives to a new city with new friends. Even some family members have changed. We have a new nephew. We have others that have just decided to go down a different road, one we don't want to visit.

Ultimately, we are ok with these changes. We like them. We like us better. We hate how we got here. We hate the ups and downs that come with losing a child (and everything that comes with it). But we're moving forward (not on). We have a life to live. We have a baby out there somewhere waiting for us to love it. We have a new understanding and greater appreciation for life. It's so precious. And because of this, noone NOONE, is dragging us down with them ever again.

Here's to new beginnings...


  1. Wishing you the best. I can't wait to hear the good news when you have a baby placed in your arms. That is going to be one lucky baby!

  2. I am excited for you both. Can't wait to hear how the home study is coming.

    Love ya,