What a feeling

Thursday, February 24, 2011
Over the past few months we have heard of at least 3 possible adoption situations. They never got very far; however, the birth families did have our phone numbers and knew our situation. I never managed to even come close to being emotionally vested, which is good since nothing ever came of any of the situations. Then today we heard of another possible situation.

For some reason I allowed myself to imagine DH and I with a family. I saw birthday parties, preschool, and Christmas morning. And for a split second, I felt whole again. It was amazing. Then, reality came crashing down and boy, it can hit hard. Why did I let myself do that? This situation, if it's in fact true, would be riskier than any of the others. We know very little and more than likely it's not anything that will materialize. Ugg. This stinks. I'm so ready to feel whole again. I hope I'm not like Humpty Dumpty; I'd really like to be put back together again.

4 comments

  1. (((Hugs))) It's so hard to get a glimpse of a positive future and then realize that it's all still just a dream and may never come true. I'm sorry reality came crashing down so hard this time for you. That can be so painful.

    IMHO, I thing the fact that you could even glimpse that feeling of wholeness for a moment probably means you *will* be able to be "put back together again" someday. I really hope that day comes soon for you. :-)

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  2. Sending you lots of positive vibes for this match to work out. We are just starting the adoption process and I know what you mean, how it feels "dangerous." Just so you know, my blog just changed its address:

    http://alittleblogaboutthebiginfertility.blogspot.com/

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  3. I can't even imagine knowing of all these possibilities out there...I'm sorry none have worked out for you. I hope something works out for you soon!

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  4. I can't even imagine how hard the process of adoption is...with getting your hopes up and then getting disappointed. Thinking of you and wishing for lots of positive things for you and your family. ((hugs))

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