Butterflies

Friday, February 11, 2011
For those of you that aren't familiar with baby loss lore, there are a couple of children's books out there that deal with the death of a child. (You can find them here and here.) One of the books, Water Bugs and & Dragonflies, uses the allegory of metamorphosis to assist in understanding death. So many women see butterflies and dragonflies as a reminder that their child/children are letting them (us) know they are ok.

Maybe this seems odd to you, but for those of us in the depths of grief after the loss of a child, we look for anything to give us some reassurance. I used to think it was sweet, but silly until it happened to me.

Not long after I came home from the hospital, I decided to take our dog for a walk. I was just starting to walk again. I hadn't been able to do it on my own, so the fact I could walk just a short distance to the stop sign and back was remarkable in my mind. It was my first venture out of the house by myself. As I was walking back to the house feeling proud of my accomplishment a yellow butterfly fluttered past and then another. It warmed my heart. Ashley (my cousin who also lost her first born to preeclampsia/hellp) had often seen a yellow butterfly as well in the year after her loss. I just knew it was my Josey and her Nolan (as crazy as that sounds).

Later that summer, once I was physically feeling a lot better, DH and I spent a lot of time on our boat. EVERY single time we went to the lake, there was my yellow butterfly. It always showed up out in the middle of the lake while we were driving. It never failed. There it was. In all my years growing up on the water, I've never seen a butterfly out in the middle of the lake, let alone following us along in our boat.

Anyway, the point of this story is to show you my newest piece of jewelry. Happy Valentine's Day to me. :)


9 comments

  1. Butterflies hold a LOT of significance for me, too.....I love love LOVE this piece of jewelry! And I immediately want one. ;-)

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  2. I LOVE your bustterfly sightings. Butterflies have also been significant to me since losing Jacob. On his 1 month angelversary, I was at the garden where his ashes are buried and was crying alot. In my head, I asked Jacob to send me a butterfly so that I would know that he is OK. Within a minute, a monarch butterfly landed on the small tree that Jacob is buried under...first on one side and then the other. Then the butterfly flew towards my husband and I, stopping on the hedge a few times on the way. I just knew that Jacob sent it and it has brought me alot of comfort over the past 8 months.

    When I got my tattoo, I had a butterfly put beside Jacob's name.

    I love your necklace. It is beautiful.

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  3. That is so beautiful!!! I cried!!! I released butterflies at my wedding (remember?) to honor my grandfathers who had both passed away. There is a beautiful Indian legend about butterflies carrying messages to heaven for us. I'll email it to you. I can't wait to see my first butterfly, I'll be sending a very special message to Josey. Love you all!

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  4. Oh wow, what a beautiful, significant necklace.

    I love your butterfly sighting stories. Thanks so much for sharing them.

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  5. I love butterfly visits!!! Your necklace is beautiful

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