Control

Saturday, November 27, 2010
Some days I can't decided whether to batten down the hatches and hold on for the ride or just let go and see where I land. I'm not sure there is even a right answer. I've been struggling the last few days over what is up ahead for us. Hopefully, it's nothing and DH and I have nothing to worry about, but at the same time we both have to be realistic. I know I've been vague and I have to be for a little while, at least until we know more. We're hoping Monday will be a good day and we can go on and be excited about our upcoming adoption classes and future adoption. Once we have some answers, we'll know whether or not to hold off or continue with our adoption plans. This crazy life sure has a way of letting you know you have absolutely no control over anything. I hate that. I like control. I like to plan. Yes, I'm one of those. I can't help it. Not being able to control a situation, my life, or anything that has to do with me drives me wild. (Just another reason I hate preeclampsia.) Anyway, I've had a hard time keeping my game face on today. When my defenses are down, it's a lot harder to be strong. So, this wild and crazy girl is already in her pj's on Saturday night, watching tv and wishing she could bury her face in a pan of brownies. Unfortunately, that's not on my WW plan, so I'll just do my best to imagine it. LOL

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5 comments

  1. Oh, I hear you about control. I like to be in control, too. Whatever you're going through sounds like it's really bothersome. I hope you at least get some resolution soon, so you can move forward one way or another.

    (((Hugs)))

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  2. You know, when I was doing my fitness competitions, I adhered to a strict meal plan, and found that watching the Food Network was almost as good as eating a pan of brownies..My husband joked that the Food Network and all the cooking shows were "food porn". WW is a wonderful program that I've seen my office mate succeed with weight loss through. Best of luck to you!
    p.s. I think I spoke too soon in my post about the Holidays..today was one of THOSE days. Bah humbug..But tomorrow is another, and overall, it does get more manageable.

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  3. I have a fabulously brownie scented candle for nights just like these!

    Hang in there. I hope that you feel more in control soon.

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  4. I understand, I love control myself, but sometimes you have to let go and let God. Oh how hard that is. Keep your chin up and remember everything happens for a reason, every trial you go through makes you stronger and prepares you for something else. If you need anything just let me know. Love ya.

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  5. Here from ICLW. Ah, the ol' control thang. Yeah, I never really understood why wanting it is so bad? LOL....unfortunately, it never really worked out for me either. Dangit. One of these days I'll learn that lesson.

    Sending lots of courage vibes your way.

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