Unwelcome visitor

Sunday, October 24, 2010
I must have spoken too soon yesterday.  Today has been one of those miserable days. You know, where you don't want to leave the comfort of your bed or get out of your pajamas? I don't even have the munchies. That's when you know it's bad. LOL Grief is never a welcome visitor, especially when it always seems to bring with it physical symptoms. Whenever I'm having a bad day, my body just gets weak and I get light headed. I feel like I am walking around in a daze. Thankfully, I haven't spent the day in tears; however, I've been carrying around the weight of it all day. Ugh. I should have seen this coming. There are certain triggers, but the weird thing is I don't even have to be around those triggers for it to hit me. I can just KNOW about them; that's all it takes.

I've tried to stay busy around the house. I did go grocery shopping, so I haven't spent the entire day inside the house. Fear Fest is on AMC. I'm thinking I may just settle in for a good scare and snuggle with my dog.

Can't sleep. It's 11:00. I went to bed feeling mentally exhausted after today, only to just start crying. Oh how I hate these days. I can already tell it's going to be a long night. I think it may be time for another facebook break, although I'm not sure I'm up to it. Yes, I'm totally addicted. I admit it. However, it may be a good idea to at least try. Then again, maybe it's just today. Maybe I'll be fine tomorrow. It's happened before. Let's hope. Thankfully, this upcoming week is looking like a busy one. Several meetings at work, decorating a float for the university's homecoming parade, the parade and homecoming itself, Halloween...lots to keep me busy. Thank God. What I'd give for a nice long vacation. Just to get away from the everyday routines and relax. Unfortunately, I'm not sure there will be any vacations in our future for awhile, since we've started the adoption process. I think a bi-weekly massage may be in order, or at least monthly. What do you all think? :)



  1. Ugh...sorry you had a rough day. I know that heaviness in your heart and the weight of carrying it is exhausting. Doggie snuggles are always the best...thinking of you.

  2. I SO know what you mean. It's been a rough week for me for no apparent reason either. Just incredibly sad =(


  3. Ah, grief. It's never a straight line. It comes and it goes when you least expect it. The important thing is that you don't give up on getting your strength back. You will be a mother, and it may not be in the way you ever dreamed, but when that happens, you will have gained a deep wisdom and appreciation for life.

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