Life Ain't Always Beautiful...

Monday, October 18, 2010
Our application is filled out and almost ready to go. DH is finding some last minute information we need and then it's ready to mail.
I find myself thinking back to my younger days when I had this predetermined image of what my life would be like at this point. It definitely wasn't this, yet I'm realizing I'm okay with that. Recently, a fellow blogger posted a link on her FB account. The book is about a woman's fight with preeclampsia and how it changed her life. Although I haven't read the book, a phrase on her website popped out at me. It says, "Sometimes, it takes nearly dying to learn how to live..."

Wow. Powerful statement.

I look back on my time spent in the hospital and I'm floored that I managed to come out of it as well as I did.  Some of you may not have read my story (you can find a link here for the quick version or you can click on the label: Journey to Josey. My body truly let me down. It basically shut down. One month in the hospital and I was a walking disaster. I remember thinking I'll never take walking across a room for granted again, or a hot shower, or even being able to sit up on my own. It's in these moments that I realize I was given another chance. Why, I'm not sure, but I was.

Losing Josey has given me a life that I might not have ever known had it not been for losing her and experiencing the fragility of life. I wish every day it hadn't happened, but it did and I can't change that. I can only change ME. She's given us so much more than I could ever imagine. For that, I will always be grateful.

Now, we get ready for an entirely new journey, but why not? This new normal is exactly that...new. And that's ok too. DH and I for the first time in a long time feel we are exactly where we need to be on this crazy road of life. I'm not sure I've ever felt that way before. Maybe it's because we have come to terms with the fact that life isn't easy, bad things happen, and ultimately we have to make our own happiness.

I'll leave you with this song by Gary Allan. If you've never heard it, take the time to listen to the lyrics. You'll love it.



2 comments

  1. I feel so moved by your post and by that song you shared. I'm so impressed with how you're rebuilding your life and making the best of what your life has turned out to be. It's so hard to come to terms with a reality that doesn't follow one's precisely laid plans . . .

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  2. Love Love Love this song and Gary Allan..I listened to it over and over after my loss...The words he sings are so true.

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