Friday, July 30, 2010
I'm tired. Stressed. Ready for some normalcy (in the midst of nothing normal). Change always equals stress, even if it's good change.  I guess it's the uncertainty involved.  Right now I have lots of change going on all around me.  Some bad, some good, some neither, just change. I've always managed to handle it quite well, but the past four months have definitely taken its toll on me.

Life keeps moving forward and although I'm moving along with it, it still feels like I'm stuck in one place while the world rushes by.  It's a strange feeling.  Hopefully, I can pick up some speed soon.  Because my world doesn't revolve around everyone else's, it's easy for people to forget that I'm still struggling at times, and that is completely understandable.  However, it's nice when someone takes the time to actually ask "How ya doin?" and mean it. Or to ask "So, what was the final prognosis? And what's your plans now?"  Pregnancy loss is so taboo that no one wants to ever bring it up, but I can't forget about it. It's my life. So when a friend truly is interested in my well being and doesn't shy away from the obvious, it means so much to me. These kinds of folks are rare these days.  I'm thankful there are still a few around.

We hope to spend this weekend on the lake and maybe take in a movie.  Nothing like a little R&R to catch your breath and get ready for another week.


  1. so true. (((hugs))) my friend. i haven't forgotten your sweet josey, i never will......

  2. i couldn't have said it better myself. I have a select few people who have been Godsends to me..The only ones who call Denise by name, or talk abotu when I was pregnant without apologizing for bringing it up. Most people though-- have forgotten, or think I should "move on". To those people, i want to slap them (=

  3. I feel the same way about the world moving by when I am stuck. Sometimes I look at people walking around me and wonder how they can possibly be doing that when my baby is dead. How can everyone not know. All irrational thoughts, I know, but I have them.

    I only have a few people who still ask how I am doing and you aren't baby loss moms themselves. I love it when they ask and when I feel like I can bring Jacob up and they don't get uncomfortable. Those moments are few and far between, but at least they happen once in a while.