The Next Step?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I've found so much comfort in reading and talking with other BLMs (baby loss moms) on their blogs, especially those that went through a similar experience.  I am also in awe of their strength, courage and determination to keep trying.  Although we're not quite three months out, we have spent countless hours talking about where we want to go from here.  At one point we talked about trying again next year, but the more we thought about it, we weren't so sure that's the right decision for us. The one thing we know for sure is that we want to be parents.  How we get there is irrelevant.

So, we have decided to look into adoption.  We know we still have healing to do and we intend to take care of ourselves first.  We're hoping to really jump into it early next year.  We have started doing a little research on the subject, looking at agencies, and learning as much as we can about all aspects of domestic adoption.  We want to be as prepared as possible before we sign with anyone. 

Some may question why we don't want to try again, but ultimately it's our decision and what we feel is best for our little family.  We aren't saying we won't ever try again, but for the near future we feel this is what God has meant for us to do.  We always said we wanted to adopt and have one of our own. Well, we had one of our own, we just didn't get to keep her. 

We still have several months before we actually start the process, so lots can happen between now and then.  My hope is that our family and friends will support us in our decision and not look down on us for what we feel is the right thing to do.

If any of you out there has any insights or experience with adoption (recommendations for agencies, tips, etc.), please feel free to leave me a comment or send me an email.


  1. My Husband John is adopted and Mike and I your moms cousin Mike B who passed were going to that but with mikes problems and such thought not such a good idea. But as I said my second Hubby John is adopted and he never even wanted to look for his real mom/dad he said he had the best parents ever and remember anyone can give birth but the parents are the ones that raise the child, think about it look at carmen a great example. Anyway Johns dad said he never thought of John other than is bio son and never introduced him as being adopted he was his son. I think it is a great idea and I know your family will embrace it. When Mike and I wanted to do it my family was on board but the Bartens were not I always was hurt by that, every child needs parents whether they are blood or not. Ask any adopted children I think they would agree. Good luck with your search.

  2. I know there are a lot of adoption bloggers, so you may want to look for them (I can probably point you in the right direction if you don't have any luck, just let me know.) I think that whichever way you want to expand your family (or stay as is) is only the business of you and your family! I'm sure people think I'm insane for going through all that we are going through with fertility treatments.

    I would say get started as quickly as possible because I think it's one of those things that the whole process takes a long time.

  3. Here's a blog that I've been following that is starting the adoption process in Massachussetts, but best of all, on the bottom side of her page she has a long list of "adoption bloggers".

  4. I don't have advice about agencies, but hopefully some encouraging words. I am adopted, and if anything I have felt "more" loved, my parents that adopted me, really wanted me and went through a lot, miscarriages and such, before they got me. And although I have never met her, what I do know and my feelings are that my bio mom loved me so much that she made the very difficult decision to do what was best for me, even if it was incredibly hard. I know that isn’t every adoption experience, but I wouldn’t change a thing about being adopted. I hope that whatever you decide you find peace and support from those around you.

  5. I can't offer you any adoption advice, but wanted to say that however your family comes together, it's the love they share that counts. I hope that your friends and family do support you - how could anyone look down on bringing happiness to a child in need of a loving home?

  6. My sister in law, and 2 of her siblings are adopted (domestic adoption). I have a childhood friend doing international adoption currently.

    Her blog is:

    and she has an amazing video of she and her husband talking about how adoption is a ministry, and how we are all in a way adopted (by God) as his children.

    Praying for you and your family always - Lori

  7. I think adoption is a wonderful idea! You all are already parents and have love to give a child who needs parents! I am so excited for you!!!! Love you!