Last one for awhile, I promise

Saturday, May 29, 2010
Today was supposed to be my baby shower.  Instead I'll be visiting my baby girl at the cemetery.  I don't even know what else to say.  It should have been one of my happiest moments, but instead I can't keep the tears from falling.  It seems life just keeps either slapping me in the face or punching me in the gut, and some of it has absolutely nothing to do with Josey.  From the little things to the big things, it just keeps rollin'. I'm so tired of it.  It's exhausting.  I've even decided to leave Facebook.  It's just too much to see all the happy Mom's right now.  If I'm ever going to heal, it's something I have to do.

I've given myself a goal to not post more than two terribly depressing posts on this blog next month.  I know you are tired of reading them and I'm tired of writing them.  Next month is another doozy for it's own reasons, but at least we have a vacation to look forward to; however, I'm not holding my breath.  Life doesn't seem to be in my favor this year.  But, I'm going to stay positive. No oil spill or hurricanes, okay God? And while we're at it, can you stop with the slaps in the face?  I'd appreciate it.  Thanks.

6 comments

  1. Sweetie, this is your blog. We are not tired of reading about your feelings and emotions. If you break you're goal, that's okay. We'll all still be here to give you lots of e-hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with Maggie. This is your blog and it's an outlet for you. Use it however you need/want. If people are sick of reading about your journey, they should stop reading!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I third that! This is your outlet... and it's all about you. You do what is best for you... whether it is writing or not writing... I'll be thinking of you and sending many hugs your way esp. this weekend. Love you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. me too! this is your place to vent those feelings!!!! the good, the bad, and the ugly. NEVER feel guilty about needing to say the hard stuff.... if you stuff it, you will just have to deal with it later.

    crying with you on bad days, jumping for joy with you on the good ones!

    (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hang in there, and feel free to write as many "depressing" posts as you want, it's YOUR blog! We all choose to read it, so keep on doing whatever helps you to heal. I hope you are able to enjoy some of this long weekend!
    B

    ReplyDelete