The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Wednesday, April 28, 2010
What a day. I had a doctor's appointment this morning and then Mom, my aunt and I were going out to lunch and shopping. I walked into the office only to be surrounded by a room full of pregnant women holding their ultrasound pictures and kids everywhere. I was ok for about ten minutes, but after 45 I was in mini-breakdown mode. Then a new nurse took me back and started asking me all these questions as if this was a prenatal appointment. I had to tell her it wasn't. By the time the doctor saw me, I was a mess.

Then, I found out they couldn't get any kind of results from the chromosome tests. The cells wouldn't grow. My tests for something to do with my phospholipids came back normal, which is both good and bad. I have no idea what that is, but apparently if you have it or markers for it, then it is thought to possibly be a factor in the preeclampsia. So, now we know that isn't a factor. He also took me off one of my bp meds, but I have to check it the next few days and then call him with the numbers. It was a little high today, but considering my wait in their waiting room, it was almost expected. He hopes to have a few more results by the time I call on Friday. So, we'll see.

Then, we go to the Olive Garden and a lovely pregnant woman sits down right beside us. The mall is next and again the same. The worst happened while I was standing in line to check out at JC Penney. A girl was standing there checking out, buying all kinds of cute little girl baby clothes, talking about all those happy things I should be talking about and to beat it all, she is due the same time I was supposed to be due. I had to turn around and just breathe. It took everything in me to stay strong. Once I got in the car, I ate three no bake cookies and cried all the way home.

The good news, however, is he did release me, at least for the next 3 weeks. Then, I'll have more blood work. Geesh. Just when I think I'm doing fairly good, I fall right through the ice. But, I guess that's to be expected.


  1. It's to be expected. Go easy on yourself - I still struggle with the mall now (6 months tomorrow). I swear the mall near us attracts every pregnant women and mother and baby there is near by.

    I remember standing next to someone with her baby at the library and the women asked how she was - 3 months and 1 week. 1 week younger than Matilda would have been. I got in the car and cried all the way home.

    Glad you can come off the meds though.

    Maddie x

  2. The more I read your story...seriously the more things we have in common. Cara's chromosomes did not grow either. I was sooo mad! Everything your going through is to be expected!

  3. You are right on track! By that I mean everything you are experiencing is normal. I remember the first time I was sitting in the doc's office and everyone had babies. I bawled so hard i couldn't even talk to the doctor when they finally took me back. You have a lot of support here for you.


  4. It seems kinda mean that you had to sit in the waiting room. I guess maybe I was "lucky" in that they booked me in for a non-preggie time. I think you did brilliantly staying in the room. I would've been totally climbing the walls. A bugger that they cells wouldn't grow, but great that you can tick off one potential factor. Oh and I totally think that after your baby passes, you become a 'baby magnet'.Babies everywhere.It hurts. Hugs.

  5. Ugh, sorry you had to deal with all that! I could have written the exact same post. At my first postpartum visit the nurse turned to me and cheerily said, "So how have you been doing since your baby was born!?" I didn't even try to be nice after that, and was a total mess for the rest of the appointment. It sucked.

    I hope things get easier and better for you, little by little. Hang in there!