Day 18

Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The NICU stopped and talked with us last night. The bottom line is she's too small at this gestational age for much if any intervention, including steroids. Her current weight is only slightly more than the smallest known survivor and despite what the media reported with this child, the doctor I spoke with had spoken with this child's doctor and he or she has severe handicaps. The percentages of her surviving, even if she were to gain a little weight by the end of the week are practically nothing and out of the small percentage, 9 out 10 have severe handicaps that wouldn't give her any quality of life.

My condition is a little different than most. I have severe preeclampsia, but I also have something called IUGR. Because of the two, it's made it nearly impossible for a positive outcome. I'm not sure yet when I'll deliver, but it will be soon. We're just waiting to hear a little more from the perinatologist. We do know the placenta and the cord will be sent off for testing to see if by chance this was a chromosomal issue. If so, then this was my body's way of taking care of that, but of course, that doesn't make it any easier. If the placenta and cord prove to be fine and not show any sort of abnormality, then there's a 60% chance of this happening to me again.

Needless to say my blood pressure has been terrible. My meds have doubled and they've added more to my iv. I'm trying to just remove myself from the situation so I can get through the next few days. We're working through acceptance and trying really hard to be as strong as we can given the situation.

We want to thank everyone for all the wonderful prayers. I don't know how people can go through any traumatic event without their family and friends. It truly does help. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we go forward from here.

23 comments

  1. If there is anything for absolute certain in the middle of all the uncertainty is that God is in control and He has you and Josey in His hands. What better place to be than in the hands of God himself? I will continue praying that whatever happens in the next few days, God will be with you and comfort you and Shannon and your families. Rhonda McCormick

    ReplyDelete
  2. Rhonda is right Kerry, God is in control and will take care of you.
    We are continuing to pray. If you or Shannon need anything let us know.

    Love, Hugs, & Prayers,
    Maria

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm so sorry things aren't looking good. My thoughts are with you as you face this nightmare.

    Maddie x

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kerry,
    I am a friend of your cousin, Ashley and just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and baby. I know and understand you are in a nightmare. I have been in one myeself.
    Praying from Flordia for your miracle,
    Johanna Robbins

    ReplyDelete
  5. Our hearts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. I soooo prayed for a different outcome and just can't imagine the pain you are going through. She loves you and she knows you have tried your hardest and done your best. She will be your little Angel in Heaven always watching over you. God Bless

    ReplyDelete
  6. So many prayers and so much love coming your way as you face this terrible time in your lives. I hope it is comforting to know that your own little Angel will always be watching over you from Heaven!

    ReplyDelete
  7. My heard is breaking for you all..we think about you all everyday...You, Shannon, and Josey are in our prayers!

    ReplyDelete
  8. We are continuing to pray for your family. We are never sure why things happen - but always know that there is a reason. We might not understand the outcome - but there is a purpose for everything. Never give up hope!

    We are thinking of you always.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm sorry Kerry. That just broke my heart for you. You are in my thoughts everyday.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I have been following your blog every day, I check it every morning. My thoughts & prayers are with your family during this difficult difficult time. I am so glad you have the love and support of your friends and family, you are right, you cannot go through this without them, I sure as heck wouldn't be here without them. You are constantly in my prayers! Don't give up just yet!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am so sorry! I am still holding out for a miracle! I will keep praying for you and that you can find peace through all of this!

    ReplyDelete
  12. You all are still in my thoughts and prayers. I check several times a day to see how things are progressing.
    I also think the testing is good too. Know this is a difficult time for you all. Love and prayers to you all

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am so so sorry for the nightmare you are enduring. You are in my prayers. Praying for comfort and endurance.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I am so sorry to hear this. I am still praying for a miracle. I am also praying that God is gentle with your heart, you are going through so much right now. I wish I made the perfect words to make you feel better. I am glad your are getting a lot of support from your family and friends, that is a blessing. Hang in there sweety, you have done an amazing job.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Reading this breaks my heart! I am so sorry you are in the middle of this it has to feel like you are in a living nightmare. I am praying for you as so many others are.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm so sorry to hear this. Lots more thoughts and prayers are being sent your way!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Kerry, I'm so very, very sorry hon. No words can really offer you the comfort you need and deserve. It doesn't help or change anything now, but IUGR and severe early onset PE unfortunately often do go hand in hand.

    It is a living nightmare and really unfair, with no rhyme or reason to it. Regardless, you are Josey's mama and always will be, and by golly you've given it your absolute best shot. I'm sure Josey knows that, and it's important that you remember that too.

    I'll be thinking of you and praying for you as you continue this journey x

    ReplyDelete
  18. Kerry, Shannon and family,
    Sending love and prayers to everyone. May the Lord wrap His arms around you and hold on for as long as you need His touch. I pray that you can feel His presence and will allow Him to take care of you, love you, and give you amazing strength.

    Love,
    Bev Winkleman

    ReplyDelete
  19. Love and comfort to you and all of your family I am sure God will make the decison and will help you get through it.

    ReplyDelete
  20. ((((((hugs)))))) I am praying for your strength right now, that is all that will get you through this. I am so sorry....May God bless you and your child.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I am so sorry to hear this news I will be praying for you and your family to have strength and each other to make it through this time. However it is still in gods hands and docs have been wrong in the past. HUGS

    ReplyDelete
  22. ((((HUGS)))) xoxoxoxox thinking of you every second. prayers and my heart are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  23. i'm praying for you, josey, and your family.

    ReplyDelete